I keep a personal blog, too, so I only come over here to write when I'm thinking about Guard-wife related things. The spring of 2012 was really good for us as a family. We finally got into a groove--the one weekend a month thing wasn't kicking our butts anymore. Then in May, my weekend warrior (MWW) had the opportunity to finish his promotion packet and had to split train his drill weekend in order to take a physical fitness test. While he was there, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was volunteered to work an extra week in May, which coincided with the last weeks of school for me, which created massive amounts of stress.
Which we survived.
And now, as we're heading to the end of July, MWW is spending another non-drill weekend working on Guard stuff (SRP processing), so we're here alone, and I'm thinking about the next five weeks and how crazy things are going to get as MWW prepares for July drill and three weeks of annual training. All of this will occur as I'm gearing up for the new school year and really could use the extra support at home.
But, alas, we will survive.
It's just a little anxiety-inducing, now that the almost 2-year-old Baby Bear is biting, and the 3-year-old Goldilocks is being...a 3-year-old girl. Yesterday, she cried and screamed because she wanted to sleep in her bedroom during naptime, but I had given her a chance and she kept waking Baby Bear up. Finally, she passed out in my bedroom. At bedtime, she was screaming because she didn't want to sleep in her bedroom (but she did).
I'm also coming to a point where I have to put on my own big girl panties in dealing with the kids. They want they want they want. Lots of things. They scream and cry if they don't get them. I completely understand why there are spoiled kids out there, because the tantrums stink, and life in the short-run would be so much easier with less screaming.
But, I'm starting to weigh the long-term effects. What are we teaching our children? That they can have anything/everything they want, any/every time that want it? That's hardly a life lesson.
Here are some specific thoughts.
1. TV -- It's summertime, it's hot, and we're watching more TV than we do during the school year. I'm not proud of that fact, but it is what it is right now (though as I'm typing this, the kids have the couch cushions off and are building castles and trains and boats, taking trips to the beach and the circus, and whatever else their imaginations fancy--it's actually pretty refreshing and gives me hope that I'm not ruining their minds this summer...well, except that they're humming the tune to Elmo's World as they're dragging the cushions around into new formations). I know people who use the "on demand" function of their cable provider to show kids shows when they're wanted. I see some use for this function, but I know that it is overused to proactively eliminate tantrums. Goldilocks frequently is screaming at me that she wants to watch Dora. Well, Dora's not on. Deal with it. I've had opportunity to talk with her about a television schedule, about being patient, about not getting to watch what she wants to watch. And yes, I've had to weather the tantrums. BUT, they are becoming fewer and farther between.
2. FOOD -- We visited my family in Texas a week or so ago, and one night we had my mom's taco salad for dinner. The kids were at first resistant to eating, and my mother suggested that she had something else they could eat. Yeah, that would have made feeding them easier. But guess what? We are not short order cooks. So, we held the line and the kids did eventually eat what was put in front of them, even if they didn't eat a lot of it (more for me!). For my particular brood, I'm not concerned about eating habits because they are generally bottomless pits that will eat most anything. So, if they choose not to eat what is being served for dinner, there is not a menu change. I'm not saying that it's never happened before and won't happen again (I'm human, though I may seem superhuman at times), BUT I am saying that I'm more mindful of not giving in to tantrums, riding it through--isn't it our responsibility to teach our children to respond in appropriate and productive ways to the experience of disappointment?
So, in this trying time with two children at a willful age, the challenge of parenting solo is one that will make my hair go gray, will make me scream and cry myself, but when we survive, it will make us better people--all of us.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Hello 2012
Time flies. December drill was broken up by the wedding of a fellow JAG on Saturday (so my weekend warrior drilled Friday and Sunday), and MWW was a part of the saber guard. I had never seen him in dress uniform, so that was a nice perk to driving two hours with two children who had been having vomiting and diarrhea earlier in the week.
The children were invited to the wedding (the bride loves our children) and there were many children there. Thankfully, my husband and his nerd JAG buddies wanted to sit in the second to last pew, because, yes, that was MY Goldilocks who was singing The Itsy-Bitsy Spider during the vows, who said "AMEN!" loudly after everyone else causing the congregation to chuckle, who found my hairbrush in my purse and was trying to brush the hair of the people sitting in front of us. Yup. That's my girl. The same girl was running around like a crazed chicken at the reception. The house party was very nervous every time she approached the buffet tables at full speed. She also is tall enough now that if she reaches up on a table, she gets something. None of the finger foods were safe.
Baby Bear, on the other hand, was calm, cool, and collected. He didn't even cry as I left him at the table with the other wives to dash off after his vivacious sister.
Anyway, MWW spent the majority of the holiday break (since the day after Christmas) overseas visiting his best friend. He came home on Thursday night and went immediately to sleep. He woke up Friday morning, went to work, came home, packed, and went to drill.
We miss him.
But, aside from that, it's a weekend we don't have any plans--nowhere to be and nothing we have to do. I'm going to enjoy it while I can because I already know that this spring is going to fill up quickly.
I do have this vision of a clutter-free life--environmental clutter, body clutter, and financial clutter--for 2012. One room at a time, one pound at a time, one expenditure at a time. We'll see how it goes.
The children were invited to the wedding (the bride loves our children) and there were many children there. Thankfully, my husband and his nerd JAG buddies wanted to sit in the second to last pew, because, yes, that was MY Goldilocks who was singing The Itsy-Bitsy Spider during the vows, who said "AMEN!" loudly after everyone else causing the congregation to chuckle, who found my hairbrush in my purse and was trying to brush the hair of the people sitting in front of us. Yup. That's my girl. The same girl was running around like a crazed chicken at the reception. The house party was very nervous every time she approached the buffet tables at full speed. She also is tall enough now that if she reaches up on a table, she gets something. None of the finger foods were safe.
Baby Bear, on the other hand, was calm, cool, and collected. He didn't even cry as I left him at the table with the other wives to dash off after his vivacious sister.
Anyway, MWW spent the majority of the holiday break (since the day after Christmas) overseas visiting his best friend. He came home on Thursday night and went immediately to sleep. He woke up Friday morning, went to work, came home, packed, and went to drill.
We miss him.
But, aside from that, it's a weekend we don't have any plans--nowhere to be and nothing we have to do. I'm going to enjoy it while I can because I already know that this spring is going to fill up quickly.
I do have this vision of a clutter-free life--environmental clutter, body clutter, and financial clutter--for 2012. One room at a time, one pound at a time, one expenditure at a time. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Drill Weekend 11/11
Well, it's drill weekend again, and MWW just left in his carpool to go report for the next two days.
It must just be season of our life, but I feel like whenever the toddler asks, "Where's Daddy?" I'm always telling her, "He's at work." We were having a conversation the other day about how our house is our home, trying to introduce that word, and Goldilocks kept insisting that MWW's work was his house, and therefore his home (in toddler reasoning, anyway). Yikes.
So, we keep busy. Weekends that he's away, we have some sort of outing, and we make sure that we get up and get moving to church on Sunday. This weekend we are going to a kids-invited Pampered Chef party, and probably going for a ride in the wagon, since Goldi asked specifically about that. And tomorrow we'll spend time with our friends at church, that she asks about daily. And then he'll be home.
I'm sure liking this one weekend a month thing better than the 5.5 consecutive months of absence...
It must just be season of our life, but I feel like whenever the toddler asks, "Where's Daddy?" I'm always telling her, "He's at work." We were having a conversation the other day about how our house is our home, trying to introduce that word, and Goldilocks kept insisting that MWW's work was his house, and therefore his home (in toddler reasoning, anyway). Yikes.
So, we keep busy. Weekends that he's away, we have some sort of outing, and we make sure that we get up and get moving to church on Sunday. This weekend we are going to a kids-invited Pampered Chef party, and probably going for a ride in the wagon, since Goldi asked specifically about that. And tomorrow we'll spend time with our friends at church, that she asks about daily. And then he'll be home.
I'm sure liking this one weekend a month thing better than the 5.5 consecutive months of absence...
Friday, August 12, 2011
AT
MWW leaves tonight for Annual Training (AT). This is the the "two weeks a year" part of the weekend warrior description [one weekend a month, two weeks a year]. This should be no sweat since we survived his Advanced Individual Training (AIT) for five months this spring, but there will be challenges.
In February, I was in the middle of a school year. Now, I've been in school for one week, so the stress levels are much higher as I put in the extra effort to start the year off right.
And now I have two toddlers. Today is Baby Bear's first birthday--he's been walking for about four weeks now. Goldilocks is two as of May and is a stereotypical two, so that makes everything interesting, and by interesting I mean crazy and dramatic.
We're still trying to get back into our routine since the summer was not as high structure. That makes the absence of the other parent that much more of a challenge, because I have to be more organized.
I'll get it together. It just stinks that AT is in August. But, such is life.
Two weeks. We can do this.
In February, I was in the middle of a school year. Now, I've been in school for one week, so the stress levels are much higher as I put in the extra effort to start the year off right.
And now I have two toddlers. Today is Baby Bear's first birthday--he's been walking for about four weeks now. Goldilocks is two as of May and is a stereotypical two, so that makes everything interesting, and by interesting I mean crazy and dramatic.
We're still trying to get back into our routine since the summer was not as high structure. That makes the absence of the other parent that much more of a challenge, because I have to be more organized.
I'll get it together. It just stinks that AT is in August. But, such is life.
Two weeks. We can do this.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Back in the Weekend Warrior Mode
We're glad to have MWW back at home, and we're ironing out the wrinkles in our routine. He's been busy getting back into the swing of things at his civilian job, working through a backlog of cases and sorting out the mess that the interim attorney left for him. Things will be much better next month as I go back to work and we have an actual routine again, not this make-it-up-as-I-go staying home with the kids thing (I'm a teacher, so summers are just awkward anyway). And it will be better because MWW will have a grip on things at work again and be less stressed. Maybe.
This last weekend was the first drill weekend since MWW came back from training last month, and of course it was a 3-day drill. Honestly, it was much easier to do the three day thing now that I've done the 5-month thing. What I am not really looking forward to is his TWO WEEKS A YEAR part of being in the National Guard, because those two weeks coincide with my first two weeks back at school with students, and probably one of those nights will be Open House, so I'll have to figure something out.
I do thank the Lord that he will not be gone the first week of August, which is when I go back for teacher inservice. Those are the nights that I will want to stay a little longer trying to get stuff done.
So, actually, we won't be able to find a new normal until September. Okay. That's reasonable. I'll have a 1-year-old by then. He'll be walking (nay, running) up a storm, I'm sure, while the 2-year-old continues to become more and more spirited. Haha. And I'll be back at work, so it will be easier to find balance.
This last weekend was the first drill weekend since MWW came back from training last month, and of course it was a 3-day drill. Honestly, it was much easier to do the three day thing now that I've done the 5-month thing. What I am not really looking forward to is his TWO WEEKS A YEAR part of being in the National Guard, because those two weeks coincide with my first two weeks back at school with students, and probably one of those nights will be Open House, so I'll have to figure something out.
I do thank the Lord that he will not be gone the first week of August, which is when I go back for teacher inservice. Those are the nights that I will want to stay a little longer trying to get stuff done.
So, actually, we won't be able to find a new normal until September. Okay. That's reasonable. I'll have a 1-year-old by then. He'll be walking (nay, running) up a storm, I'm sure, while the 2-year-old continues to become more and more spirited. Haha. And I'll be back at work, so it will be easier to find balance.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Guelph Therapy
I'm writing this post from Guelph, Ontario.
Strange name, mundane place. But, it's a perfect place for the family to spend time together post-training. Yes, the time flew by in the end, and MWW is back home with us. Or, rather, in Canada with us. Wherever. :) We are here to work out the kinks before taking the circus on the road back to Alabama. Get to know one another, work out the kinks.
I think the hardest part now is holding my tongue and/or thinking before I speak (and then speaking in love, convincingly). I have a tendency to come across as defensive or sarcastic, or both sometimes. And so, when something is said that sets off alarm bells in my head, and the walls of self-protection spring into place in my mind and heart, I have to remember: He hasn't been here. He didn't mean it the way I heard it. He doesn't know.
And then I have to talk myself down from that ledge. On my family blog, I recently wrote a post on bitterness, mostly about my recovery from a job situation from three years ago now. Sometimes when I have the above-described reaction, I have to search and see if that taste is in my mouth. Am I bitter that he gets wound up about a screaming child at bedtime, knowing full well that he just had five months of mostly uninterrupted sleep at night? Yes, sometimes the taste is there (have I mentioned that the 10-month-old doesn't sleep for stretches longer than 3 hours still?), and sometimes it's not. Depends on the day, depends on the interaction, depends on whether or not I got a nap. Haha.
The good news is that we're both still growing. We are not static individuals. We just need to remember and practice how to communicate with each other again without making assumptions. I was reminded of this during the sermon at my cousin's wedding this past weekend as the pastor explicated the "Love" verses from Corinthians. She mentioned that love assumes nothing, but rather makes sure to clearly communicate and have all necessary information. Oh, yeah. That. I'm working on it. It will get better.
Strange name, mundane place. But, it's a perfect place for the family to spend time together post-training. Yes, the time flew by in the end, and MWW is back home with us. Or, rather, in Canada with us. Wherever. :) We are here to work out the kinks before taking the circus on the road back to Alabama. Get to know one another, work out the kinks.
I think the hardest part now is holding my tongue and/or thinking before I speak (and then speaking in love, convincingly). I have a tendency to come across as defensive or sarcastic, or both sometimes. And so, when something is said that sets off alarm bells in my head, and the walls of self-protection spring into place in my mind and heart, I have to remember: He hasn't been here. He didn't mean it the way I heard it. He doesn't know.
And then I have to talk myself down from that ledge. On my family blog, I recently wrote a post on bitterness, mostly about my recovery from a job situation from three years ago now. Sometimes when I have the above-described reaction, I have to search and see if that taste is in my mouth. Am I bitter that he gets wound up about a screaming child at bedtime, knowing full well that he just had five months of mostly uninterrupted sleep at night? Yes, sometimes the taste is there (have I mentioned that the 10-month-old doesn't sleep for stretches longer than 3 hours still?), and sometimes it's not. Depends on the day, depends on the interaction, depends on whether or not I got a nap. Haha.
The good news is that we're both still growing. We are not static individuals. We just need to remember and practice how to communicate with each other again without making assumptions. I was reminded of this during the sermon at my cousin's wedding this past weekend as the pastor explicated the "Love" verses from Corinthians. She mentioned that love assumes nothing, but rather makes sure to clearly communicate and have all necessary information. Oh, yeah. That. I'm working on it. It will get better.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Adjusting
It's been one month since I last posted over here. We had MWW at home for a couple of days before he had to report to Fort Benning, and it was wonderful and stressful both. He was sweet and supportive most of the time, but sometimes it felt like he forgot that he hadn't been here for four months and would say or do something that was insensitive. It wasn't on purpose, mind you, but it was stressful because I had to remember not to take it personally. However, the good definitely outweighs the not-so-good of having him home.
Since Mother's Day, he's been coming home on weekends and a lot of the time it feels like we're slightly out of sync (though that may just be that we're on Central time and he's on Eastern, even when he's here with us). But we're adjusting.
I wonder if they'll do any reintegration training before they leave Fort Benning before Father's Day weekend? And if they do, will he pay attention? Or will he think that it doesn't pertain to him since he's been coming home on weekends? I hope he at least doesn't tune them out.
Two more weeks until we have him with us for the long haul, you know, except for that whole one weekend a month, two weeks a year thing. This time has really flown by. If I didn't work full-time and have two little ones to keep up with and a slew of good friends to check up on me, I would be out of my mind. I thank the Lord for the people he has put in my life to make this time apart more bearable.
Until next time.
Since Mother's Day, he's been coming home on weekends and a lot of the time it feels like we're slightly out of sync (though that may just be that we're on Central time and he's on Eastern, even when he's here with us). But we're adjusting.
I wonder if they'll do any reintegration training before they leave Fort Benning before Father's Day weekend? And if they do, will he pay attention? Or will he think that it doesn't pertain to him since he's been coming home on weekends? I hope he at least doesn't tune them out.
Two more weeks until we have him with us for the long haul, you know, except for that whole one weekend a month, two weeks a year thing. This time has really flown by. If I didn't work full-time and have two little ones to keep up with and a slew of good friends to check up on me, I would be out of my mind. I thank the Lord for the people he has put in my life to make this time apart more bearable.
Until next time.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Graduation Day
I can't believe he's graduating already! I'm soooo glad that it's all almost over, but mostly I'm proud of him. MWW made the Commandant's List, which is essentially like graduating cum laude. Wowzers!
They left after the ceremony this afternoon, as all the Alabama JAGs are caravaning back into the state. He sent me a text message after school sometime letting me know that they were in Greeneville, TN. He might make the it the whole way tonight, but he might also stop to sleep so that he can get here in one piece. I just can't wait to see him, even if it's only for a couple of days. :)
They left after the ceremony this afternoon, as all the Alabama JAGs are caravaning back into the state. He sent me a text message after school sometime letting me know that they were in Greeneville, TN. He might make the it the whole way tonight, but he might also stop to sleep so that he can get here in one piece. I just can't wait to see him, even if it's only for a couple of days. :)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Oh, the irony..
This is the week.
Yes, this is the week when MWW graduates from JAG School. I won't be able to go to graduation, which makes me sad because I've never seen him in his dress uniform. Hubby will be coming back home for a couple of days before being stationed at Fort Benning, which is 45 miles from here. "At least he'll be close," people say. I was comforted by that, until this week, and now I'm just annoyed.
MWW found out that he won't be able to have his phone with him at this BOLC phase. The options are to leave it in the hot car, or leave it here when he goes. He's opting for leaving it here, so far as I know.
The whole situation is maddening. When he was 600 miles away, I could at least talk to him every night. Now he'll be really, really close, and I won't get to talk to him until he comes home on the weekends. And I won't know when/if he's coming home until he shows up on our doorstep. Sigh. I just can't win. Well, except that I'll get to see him on some weekends. :D It won't be enough, but it will be something!
What's another six weeks? We've made it this far. We are blessed by the support and prayers of our family and friends. This will carry us on toward our reunion in mid-June!
Yes, this is the week when MWW graduates from JAG School. I won't be able to go to graduation, which makes me sad because I've never seen him in his dress uniform. Hubby will be coming back home for a couple of days before being stationed at Fort Benning, which is 45 miles from here. "At least he'll be close," people say. I was comforted by that, until this week, and now I'm just annoyed.
MWW found out that he won't be able to have his phone with him at this BOLC phase. The options are to leave it in the hot car, or leave it here when he goes. He's opting for leaving it here, so far as I know.
The whole situation is maddening. When he was 600 miles away, I could at least talk to him every night. Now he'll be really, really close, and I won't get to talk to him until he comes home on the weekends. And I won't know when/if he's coming home until he shows up on our doorstep. Sigh. I just can't win. Well, except that I'll get to see him on some weekends. :D It won't be enough, but it will be something!
What's another six weeks? We've made it this far. We are blessed by the support and prayers of our family and friends. This will carry us on toward our reunion in mid-June!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The new car smell..
...of this whole situation is wearing off. There's no more novelty. There's no more driven independence.
It's getting pretty old and I'm tired of single-parenting and being a solitary homeowner. We have had lots of glorious help from friends and family, and that has made it so much easier. But it's still not the same.
And yes, I'm complaining. I've put on a good face heretofore, but I'm exhausted. And I'm ready for my weekend warrior to be back with us.
All the single parents and military families with loved ones deployed, whether in war zones or not, can feel free to tell me to shut my trap. I know. He's safe. It's for a limited time. If I really wanted to, I could go see him. The logistics would be a nightmare, but I could do it.
Everyone else bear with me as I complain.
It's getting pretty old and I'm tired of single-parenting and being a solitary homeowner. We have had lots of glorious help from friends and family, and that has made it so much easier. But it's still not the same.
And yes, I'm complaining. I've put on a good face heretofore, but I'm exhausted. And I'm ready for my weekend warrior to be back with us.
All the single parents and military families with loved ones deployed, whether in war zones or not, can feel free to tell me to shut my trap. I know. He's safe. It's for a limited time. If I really wanted to, I could go see him. The logistics would be a nightmare, but I could do it.
Everyone else bear with me as I complain.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Morning Routines
There are baby steps everywhere. Part of the Fly Lady's baby steps involves creating morning routines, in addition to the before bed routines I wrote about a couple weeks ago.
This is what is written in window crayon on our bathroom mirror (the ideal), but it's not what happens:
My alarm goes off at 5. I snooze. My watch alarm goes off at 5:15. I snooze. I snooze. I snooze. It's dark outside. It's hard to wake up when it's dark outside. Finally, at six, or a smidge before, I jump out of bed (pull up the covers to "make the bed"), go shower/take meds/brush teeth, and throw on whatever clothes I set out the night before. By this time one or both of the children is awake, so I have to ignore them while I run downstairs and put Goldilock's oatmeal in the microwave, fill her milk cup, and set out some fresh fruit for her; I quickly check the calendar on the fridge to remind myself of what's going on today. Then I run back upstairs and change diapers/dress the kiddos with the clothes I set out for them. Then we come downstairs and Goldilocks and Baby Bear both eat. After Baby Bear is finished eating, he goes right into his carseat carrier with a toy to keep him busy. I get a cup of ice water and put it, along with any refrigerated items, into the car. While Goldilocks is captive in the high chair, I put shoes on her and I comb her hair. Depending on her tolerance level, I sometimes put it up in pigtails; other times I use a barrette to keep the hair out of her eyes. She goes straight from the high chair into the car, along with her milk cup. Baby Bear gets put in the car. We go. Any variation from this (i.e. letting Goldilocks down from her chair without putting her in the car) causes delay. About halfway to school I realize that I didn't eat breakfast and/or pack my lunch. Again. Crud.
Ta-da! Yeah, it's a routine, but it does not encompass everything I want it to. It's a little hectic sometimes, and, again, it only works because of what I do before bed to get ready for the morning. I somehow found a blog article by a Fly Lady follower entitled, "Your Morning Routine Should Make You Happy," and that got me to thinking about how I'm not unhappy with what's going on, but I'm not entirely happy with it either.
I'm pretty sure going to bed on time will make waking up earlier a little bit easier. Now that we have Sprung Forward, will it be even easier to get up earlier? I don't know yet because I've been in Spring Break mode, not doing any routines.
I'm going to revisit my morning routine and try to get up earlier (and go to bed on time--goal is by 9pm). I'd like to get a lawn watering schedule in place, and water the peach tree daily as a part of the morning routine, too. I'll let you know how it goes.
In the meantime, you should check out Fly Lady and her baby steps.
This is what is written in window crayon on our bathroom mirror (the ideal), but it's not what happens:
- Up @ 5
- Meds/Teeth
- Shower
- Dress to shoes (meaning, put your shoes on as a part of getting dressed)
- Make bed
- Swish&Swipe (Fly Lady terminology for wipe the countertops and quick scrub the toilet.)
- Reboot Laundry (Move it over, move it out, start a new load.)
- Dishwasher (Empty, fill, whatever needs to be done)
- Drink H2O/Breakfast
- Check calendar
- What's for dinner?
- Get kids up at 6:15
My alarm goes off at 5. I snooze. My watch alarm goes off at 5:15. I snooze. I snooze. I snooze. It's dark outside. It's hard to wake up when it's dark outside. Finally, at six, or a smidge before, I jump out of bed (pull up the covers to "make the bed"), go shower/take meds/brush teeth, and throw on whatever clothes I set out the night before. By this time one or both of the children is awake, so I have to ignore them while I run downstairs and put Goldilock's oatmeal in the microwave, fill her milk cup, and set out some fresh fruit for her; I quickly check the calendar on the fridge to remind myself of what's going on today. Then I run back upstairs and change diapers/dress the kiddos with the clothes I set out for them. Then we come downstairs and Goldilocks and Baby Bear both eat. After Baby Bear is finished eating, he goes right into his carseat carrier with a toy to keep him busy. I get a cup of ice water and put it, along with any refrigerated items, into the car. While Goldilocks is captive in the high chair, I put shoes on her and I comb her hair. Depending on her tolerance level, I sometimes put it up in pigtails; other times I use a barrette to keep the hair out of her eyes. She goes straight from the high chair into the car, along with her milk cup. Baby Bear gets put in the car. We go. Any variation from this (i.e. letting Goldilocks down from her chair without putting her in the car) causes delay. About halfway to school I realize that I didn't eat breakfast and/or pack my lunch. Again. Crud.
Ta-da! Yeah, it's a routine, but it does not encompass everything I want it to. It's a little hectic sometimes, and, again, it only works because of what I do before bed to get ready for the morning. I somehow found a blog article by a Fly Lady follower entitled, "Your Morning Routine Should Make You Happy," and that got me to thinking about how I'm not unhappy with what's going on, but I'm not entirely happy with it either.
I'm pretty sure going to bed on time will make waking up earlier a little bit easier. Now that we have Sprung Forward, will it be even easier to get up earlier? I don't know yet because I've been in Spring Break mode, not doing any routines.
I'm going to revisit my morning routine and try to get up earlier (and go to bed on time--goal is by 9pm). I'd like to get a lawn watering schedule in place, and water the peach tree daily as a part of the morning routine, too. I'll let you know how it goes.
In the meantime, you should check out Fly Lady and her baby steps.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Debt Considerations
As I understand it, my weekend warrior set out to join the military in some form or fashion for several reasons, the main one being this noble desire to serve his country. I'm proud of him.
Another reason was so that when/if he went into a law practice for himself, he would have a steady flow of income, however small, to offset the unknown income of being self-employed. Once all was settled, instead of being self-employed he found himself with two jobs on one day: he was hired at a local law firm on the same day he was sworn in to the Alabama National Guard, on August 19, 2010.
We've been working (on and off, if I'm truly honest) on getting out of debt. In spring of 2008, during his last semester of law school, MWW and I attended Financial Peace Unviersity by Dave Ramsey at our church in Tuscaloosa, and ever since then we've been working the Baby Steps to pay off automobiles, credit cards, and students loans. (Since then, we've taken on a mortgage as well.) We've had a working cash flow plan (i.e. budget) and sinking funds to pay for predictable expenses. We're not out of debt, but we are experiencing more peace when would-be emergencies arise because they're not emergencies anymore.
We paid off the Subaru in the fall of 2008--six months early--and have been driving two paid-for cars ever since. This last October my student loans for undergrad and grad school were paid off. Now somehow, since he's been away at training, we've had more cash flow to put toward our "debt snowball." Last week, we paid off MWW's credit card, and this next week, after our tax refund is credited, my credit card will be paid off. All we have left are MWW's students loans from undergrad and law school and a mortgage.
The website, My Total Money Makeover, has a neat debt snowball tool (there are other free ones out there if you look, since this one is free for a limited time). So, I went in and plugged in our minimum payments on each of these debts, and if we pay only the minimum on each one, the loans will be paid off by June 2019. This last year, our mortgage payment went down, but I'm maintaining the orginal higher payment since it's in our budget, and if we keep on keeping on, using student loans payments after those are knocked out, our mortgage will be paid off in November 2026, which is 14 years early. The power of the snowball.
Of course, that's just based on minimum payments. But we'll be making more than minimum. The extra cash MWW gets from his unused per diem will be going toward our loans. The payments from our now paid-off credit cards will also be going toward the loans. I'm excited to see how much of a difference these payments make in our debt-free date (complete Baby Step 2), which is when we are debt-free except for the house.
In the meantime, we have an emergency fund of $1000 (from Baby Step 1) which we are going to increase 200% before we go on. With two children and a big old house and a considerable amount of time before our debt-free date, I would like to have a little bit more of an emergency fund, but not a fully-funded one (that's Baby Step 3).
This next part, paying off these thousands of dollars worth of loans, will probably get old fast, so I'm looking for ideas to celebrate our success when it happens. I'm also looking for ideas to keep the "gazelle intensity" going. We can do it!
I know that Dave Ramsey has FPU classes geared toward military on/near military bases throughout the country, and I highly recommend the class. Highly.
Another reason was so that when/if he went into a law practice for himself, he would have a steady flow of income, however small, to offset the unknown income of being self-employed. Once all was settled, instead of being self-employed he found himself with two jobs on one day: he was hired at a local law firm on the same day he was sworn in to the Alabama National Guard, on August 19, 2010.
We've been working (on and off, if I'm truly honest) on getting out of debt. In spring of 2008, during his last semester of law school, MWW and I attended Financial Peace Unviersity by Dave Ramsey at our church in Tuscaloosa, and ever since then we've been working the Baby Steps to pay off automobiles, credit cards, and students loans. (Since then, we've taken on a mortgage as well.) We've had a working cash flow plan (i.e. budget) and sinking funds to pay for predictable expenses. We're not out of debt, but we are experiencing more peace when would-be emergencies arise because they're not emergencies anymore.
We paid off the Subaru in the fall of 2008--six months early--and have been driving two paid-for cars ever since. This last October my student loans for undergrad and grad school were paid off. Now somehow, since he's been away at training, we've had more cash flow to put toward our "debt snowball." Last week, we paid off MWW's credit card, and this next week, after our tax refund is credited, my credit card will be paid off. All we have left are MWW's students loans from undergrad and law school and a mortgage.
The website, My Total Money Makeover, has a neat debt snowball tool (there are other free ones out there if you look, since this one is free for a limited time). So, I went in and plugged in our minimum payments on each of these debts, and if we pay only the minimum on each one, the loans will be paid off by June 2019. This last year, our mortgage payment went down, but I'm maintaining the orginal higher payment since it's in our budget, and if we keep on keeping on, using student loans payments after those are knocked out, our mortgage will be paid off in November 2026, which is 14 years early. The power of the snowball.
Of course, that's just based on minimum payments. But we'll be making more than minimum. The extra cash MWW gets from his unused per diem will be going toward our loans. The payments from our now paid-off credit cards will also be going toward the loans. I'm excited to see how much of a difference these payments make in our debt-free date (complete Baby Step 2), which is when we are debt-free except for the house.
In the meantime, we have an emergency fund of $1000 (from Baby Step 1) which we are going to increase 200% before we go on. With two children and a big old house and a considerable amount of time before our debt-free date, I would like to have a little bit more of an emergency fund, but not a fully-funded one (that's Baby Step 3).
This next part, paying off these thousands of dollars worth of loans, will probably get old fast, so I'm looking for ideas to celebrate our success when it happens. I'm also looking for ideas to keep the "gazelle intensity" going. We can do it!
I know that Dave Ramsey has FPU classes geared toward military on/near military bases throughout the country, and I highly recommend the class. Highly.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Lawn Care
When we first moved into this house last June, MWW was really excited about getting a lawnmower. I wasn't too worried because we had friends from church a couple of doors down who would definitely lend us theirs if push came to shove. Well, MWW went online and ordered a rotary cutter mower on the Internet. You know the ones--stereotypical lawnmowers from the 1950s--no gasoline needed, just manpower.
I laughed and said, "That's because I'll never have to mow the lawn, right?" Admittedly, I do have some pretty nasty grass allergies and only ever had to mow the lawn at home a handful of times growing up before we got the riding mower and I wanted to mow the lawn. But this was no riding mower, and at the time I was seven months pregnant. MWW reassured me that he would take care of the lawn, no probs. So upon moving into the house, the outside became his domain and the inside became mine, for the most part.
Then he joined the National Guard in August. And he left (for five weeks now) for training in February for the duration of the spring and early summer.
Do you know what happens in the spring time? Yes, grass and weeds grow. And do you know what has to happen to those things? They need to be cut. And et. (As in the past tense of "weed eat" is "weed et" when using a weedeater. "Weed ate" just doesn't sound right for some reason..haha.)
And let's face it, we live in suburbia--on a corner lot, no less--so there's a little pressure about keeping the lawn looking at least moderately nice. There's a homeowner's association, anyway. Last year, since we moved in late in the season, the grass got cut regularly, but the weeds in the flower beds became too much, so we just avoided them. Not this year. This year we have to get it right. But I was still in denial a little bit when we up and left for Virginia this last weekend, with all these tall, grassy weeds and purple flowers taking over my front lawn.
Eli had told me about using a pre-emergent weedkiller/fertilizer, but I just don't have that kind of time while working full time and having two children under two. So I started looking into Spring-Green and TruGreen lawncare (local companies that are each other's competition) for weed and fertilization help. And I found a killer deal, pun intended. Spring-Green had the cheapest prices to begin with, plus they have an overall discount if you pay up front for the year. And then, after the guy came out and gave me a free estimate, he also informed me of their military discount! I always forget to ask about military discounts, so it was above and beyond for him to offer up that information. I talked it over with MWW and he agreed that we should go ahead and do it. When we came back from VA, they had already been here to do the first application, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Another fabulous surprise for us when we returned is that our neighbors (a military family themselves) had come over and mowed our lawn while the kids and I were away. He had warned me not to be surprised if I saw him in our backyard one day. What a blessing. What a relief. ("You have a big yard." -Mr. Neighbor)
In two weeks, the in-laws are coming to help with more of the lawn care, planting trees and preparing flower beds, etc. I hope the weather is good. MWW will be happy to know that his Charlie Brown-reminiscent peach tree has pretty pink flowers on it (it's only 3 feet tall...).
Ah, spring t....ah-choo. Time. :)
I laughed and said, "That's because I'll never have to mow the lawn, right?" Admittedly, I do have some pretty nasty grass allergies and only ever had to mow the lawn at home a handful of times growing up before we got the riding mower and I wanted to mow the lawn. But this was no riding mower, and at the time I was seven months pregnant. MWW reassured me that he would take care of the lawn, no probs. So upon moving into the house, the outside became his domain and the inside became mine, for the most part.
Then he joined the National Guard in August. And he left (for five weeks now) for training in February for the duration of the spring and early summer.
Do you know what happens in the spring time? Yes, grass and weeds grow. And do you know what has to happen to those things? They need to be cut. And et. (As in the past tense of "weed eat" is "weed et" when using a weedeater. "Weed ate" just doesn't sound right for some reason..haha.)
And let's face it, we live in suburbia--on a corner lot, no less--so there's a little pressure about keeping the lawn looking at least moderately nice. There's a homeowner's association, anyway. Last year, since we moved in late in the season, the grass got cut regularly, but the weeds in the flower beds became too much, so we just avoided them. Not this year. This year we have to get it right. But I was still in denial a little bit when we up and left for Virginia this last weekend, with all these tall, grassy weeds and purple flowers taking over my front lawn.
Eli had told me about using a pre-emergent weedkiller/fertilizer, but I just don't have that kind of time while working full time and having two children under two. So I started looking into Spring-Green and TruGreen lawncare (local companies that are each other's competition) for weed and fertilization help. And I found a killer deal, pun intended. Spring-Green had the cheapest prices to begin with, plus they have an overall discount if you pay up front for the year. And then, after the guy came out and gave me a free estimate, he also informed me of their military discount! I always forget to ask about military discounts, so it was above and beyond for him to offer up that information. I talked it over with MWW and he agreed that we should go ahead and do it. When we came back from VA, they had already been here to do the first application, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Another fabulous surprise for us when we returned is that our neighbors (a military family themselves) had come over and mowed our lawn while the kids and I were away. He had warned me not to be surprised if I saw him in our backyard one day. What a blessing. What a relief. ("You have a big yard." -Mr. Neighbor)
In two weeks, the in-laws are coming to help with more of the lawn care, planting trees and preparing flower beds, etc. I hope the weather is good. MWW will be happy to know that his Charlie Brown-reminiscent peach tree has pretty pink flowers on it (it's only 3 feet tall...).
Ah, spring t....ah-choo. Time. :)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
And...we're back!
My children are rock stars. No, really.
They were sick last week. We got in the car anyway and made the would-be 10-hour trip to go see Papa Bear (my weekend warrior) up in Charlottesville at the JAG school. I made sure I was physically prepared for the trip, snacks ready and within easy reach, and we just went, without me thinking too much about the mental side of this. We got out of the door by 6:45 EST on Saturday morning and were in Charlottesville by 5:15 p.m. Yes, that's 10.5 hours. They rocked my socks off. I decided before we left that I would take my cues from Baby Bear, who would need to eat every so often. Goldilocks was content to stay in her seat and have me hand her snacks over the seat. Baby Bear went in three-hour stretches. Miracle! One time I had to leave them in the car while I ran into a gas station to pee, and another time we stopped at a rest stop on the NC/VA border so that Goldilocks could run around and stretch her legs. I had quite a few people praying about this trip, and I am thankful for every single person, every single prayer. They helped to make this the easiest trip I've taken.
While I was driving, I got to thinking. I've only ever driven from AL to TX and back by myself the one time, right after we moved here. It was only nine hours each direction (still not enough to finish listening to The DaVinci Code audiobook--that book is long). Pretty much since then, every long trip I've had MWW with me, and honestly, I let him do most of the driving. This time I just jumped in the car with two small children and decided to drive further than I've ever driven by myself. What was I thinking?!? As I said, I didn't think. I just did. And in this instance, I think that served me well.
Our three days with MWW were wonderful and weird. He still had his really weird military sleeping schedule (8 p.m.-4 a.m.), PT schedule (5 a.m.-7 a.m.), and class (8 a.m-4 p.m.), so we spent quite a bit of time entertaining ourselves. He's also gotten used to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep (I'm jealous) and was a little cranky about crying children (suck it up). But he loved having us there. He just beamed at the kids, smiling an hugging and laughing. Man, we miss him. Goldilocks was confused by all the people in digital camouflage, and walked around saying, "Daddy? Daddy?" to every single one of them once MWW left for class and the last of the people in the hotel dining room were scarfing down their breakfasts so they could be to class on time.
There were other families there with their small children, and it made me wish that at this season of life we could have traveled up there with him to stay for the duration. But, alas, someone has to win the regular bread that pays for the house.
Wednesday morning, we dragged our feet, but eventually got into the car and headed home. I knew that this direction the trip wasn't going to be so easy--both physically and emotionally. The kids were cranky and crying. Goldilocks didn't want to sing to her CD or watch a DVD on the player we had borrowed from friends. Baby Bear was feeling much better, which meant that he would want to eat every two hours or so. What I didn't plan for was sitting still, moving only about 2 miles, for an hour of construction traffic just miles from the NC/SC border (and when the car stopped, two sleeping kids woke up and started crying/screaming...yay). What I did plan for was driving back through Atlanta, on a weekday, during rush hour traffic. What I didn't originally plan for, but was pumped about after the trip up there, was the HOV lanes through Atlanta, which helped keep the trip from being completely unbearable. This time, we also stopped at a Chick-Fil-A in Anderson, SC, so that Goldilocks could get out and stretch her legs and play in the play place. She was so hyper, it was entertaining. And it added another hour onto our trip. All in all, it took us 12.5 hours to get home. We left Charlottesville at approximately 7:30 a.m. EST, and rolled into our driveway at 7 p.m. CST.
One sweet thing was that a good friend of mine was here waiting for us, and she got the kids out of the car while I came inside and cleaned up cat poo and vomit (which are both inevitable if we leave the cats for any length of time), and she brought dinner, so she fed Goldilocks while I took a relaxing shower. Then, she helped me unload the car, start a load of travel laundry, do the travel dishes and bathe the little girl. And once Goldilocks was in bed, we even got some girl chat time that I've sorely missed.
We are blessed.
They were sick last week. We got in the car anyway and made the would-be 10-hour trip to go see Papa Bear (my weekend warrior) up in Charlottesville at the JAG school. I made sure I was physically prepared for the trip, snacks ready and within easy reach, and we just went, without me thinking too much about the mental side of this. We got out of the door by 6:45 EST on Saturday morning and were in Charlottesville by 5:15 p.m. Yes, that's 10.5 hours. They rocked my socks off. I decided before we left that I would take my cues from Baby Bear, who would need to eat every so often. Goldilocks was content to stay in her seat and have me hand her snacks over the seat. Baby Bear went in three-hour stretches. Miracle! One time I had to leave them in the car while I ran into a gas station to pee, and another time we stopped at a rest stop on the NC/VA border so that Goldilocks could run around and stretch her legs. I had quite a few people praying about this trip, and I am thankful for every single person, every single prayer. They helped to make this the easiest trip I've taken.
While I was driving, I got to thinking. I've only ever driven from AL to TX and back by myself the one time, right after we moved here. It was only nine hours each direction (still not enough to finish listening to The DaVinci Code audiobook--that book is long). Pretty much since then, every long trip I've had MWW with me, and honestly, I let him do most of the driving. This time I just jumped in the car with two small children and decided to drive further than I've ever driven by myself. What was I thinking?!? As I said, I didn't think. I just did. And in this instance, I think that served me well.
Our three days with MWW were wonderful and weird. He still had his really weird military sleeping schedule (8 p.m.-4 a.m.), PT schedule (5 a.m.-7 a.m.), and class (8 a.m-4 p.m.), so we spent quite a bit of time entertaining ourselves. He's also gotten used to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep (I'm jealous) and was a little cranky about crying children (suck it up). But he loved having us there. He just beamed at the kids, smiling an hugging and laughing. Man, we miss him. Goldilocks was confused by all the people in digital camouflage, and walked around saying, "Daddy? Daddy?" to every single one of them once MWW left for class and the last of the people in the hotel dining room were scarfing down their breakfasts so they could be to class on time.
There were other families there with their small children, and it made me wish that at this season of life we could have traveled up there with him to stay for the duration. But, alas, someone has to win the regular bread that pays for the house.
Wednesday morning, we dragged our feet, but eventually got into the car and headed home. I knew that this direction the trip wasn't going to be so easy--both physically and emotionally. The kids were cranky and crying. Goldilocks didn't want to sing to her CD or watch a DVD on the player we had borrowed from friends. Baby Bear was feeling much better, which meant that he would want to eat every two hours or so. What I didn't plan for was sitting still, moving only about 2 miles, for an hour of construction traffic just miles from the NC/SC border (and when the car stopped, two sleeping kids woke up and started crying/screaming...yay). What I did plan for was driving back through Atlanta, on a weekday, during rush hour traffic. What I didn't originally plan for, but was pumped about after the trip up there, was the HOV lanes through Atlanta, which helped keep the trip from being completely unbearable. This time, we also stopped at a Chick-Fil-A in Anderson, SC, so that Goldilocks could get out and stretch her legs and play in the play place. She was so hyper, it was entertaining. And it added another hour onto our trip. All in all, it took us 12.5 hours to get home. We left Charlottesville at approximately 7:30 a.m. EST, and rolled into our driveway at 7 p.m. CST.
One sweet thing was that a good friend of mine was here waiting for us, and she got the kids out of the car while I came inside and cleaned up cat poo and vomit (which are both inevitable if we leave the cats for any length of time), and she brought dinner, so she fed Goldilocks while I took a relaxing shower. Then, she helped me unload the car, start a load of travel laundry, do the travel dishes and bathe the little girl. And once Goldilocks was in bed, we even got some girl chat time that I've sorely missed.
We are blessed.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sick...with children
I don't get sick.
Not very often, anyway. And since we've had children these past two years, the one or two times I was feeling under the weather, MWW was around to take care of the little one(s) while I took care of me. I'm now realizing what a luxury that is, and wonder what do single mothers do??
My mother-in-law just happened to be in town this last weekend to visit with the grandchildren when my insides decided to revolt (and believe me, they were revolting). I had had plans to get so much done while she distracted the kiddos, but the weather was terrible and I was just blah, blah, blah, sitting on the couch or on the floor in the bathroom. I'm sure I was a lot of fun to be around. If she hadn't been visiting, there would have been far more tears that there were.
While she was here, Baby Bear started wheezing pretty badly, and I wanted to take him to the doctor (we don't play with breathing issues in my family), but I couldn't get very far from a commode. I had to wait until Sunday to take him, and he was diagnosed with RSV and an ear infection. Yay.
The start of the week didn't go well. I was still feeling icky, and the kids were pretty pathetic and miserable at daycare, so I took half days on Monday and Tuesday to be home with my sick kids (Goldilocks ended up with an ear infection, too). We thankfully have a wonderful church family that was willing to help out with keeping them.
My students were a little put off that I wasn't there to teach them. I have sick kids, I told them. I need to be home with them. "Why can't your husband do it?" Because he's not here.
Thankfully, the sickness is running its course and we're all on the mend. I didn't need to take any more leave than I had, and it looks like we'll be able to go visit Papa Bear this weekend!
Not very often, anyway. And since we've had children these past two years, the one or two times I was feeling under the weather, MWW was around to take care of the little one(s) while I took care of me. I'm now realizing what a luxury that is, and wonder what do single mothers do??
My mother-in-law just happened to be in town this last weekend to visit with the grandchildren when my insides decided to revolt (and believe me, they were revolting). I had had plans to get so much done while she distracted the kiddos, but the weather was terrible and I was just blah, blah, blah, sitting on the couch or on the floor in the bathroom. I'm sure I was a lot of fun to be around. If she hadn't been visiting, there would have been far more tears that there were.
While she was here, Baby Bear started wheezing pretty badly, and I wanted to take him to the doctor (we don't play with breathing issues in my family), but I couldn't get very far from a commode. I had to wait until Sunday to take him, and he was diagnosed with RSV and an ear infection. Yay.
The start of the week didn't go well. I was still feeling icky, and the kids were pretty pathetic and miserable at daycare, so I took half days on Monday and Tuesday to be home with my sick kids (Goldilocks ended up with an ear infection, too). We thankfully have a wonderful church family that was willing to help out with keeping them.
My students were a little put off that I wasn't there to teach them. I have sick kids, I told them. I need to be home with them. "Why can't your husband do it?" Because he's not here.
Thankfully, the sickness is running its course and we're all on the mend. I didn't need to take any more leave than I had, and it looks like we'll be able to go visit Papa Bear this weekend!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Evidence of FLYing
When my weekend warrior left, some sweet ladies at church signed up to come by once or twice a week to give me a hand with whatever I need, from bringing dinner, to babysitting while I run errands, to bathing the kids and putting them to bed. Yes, we are blessed with a wonderful church family. This separation would be very different without them.
Not once, but TWICE, I've had friends from church come over to help who are astonished at how clean the house is. To be fair, they all visited at some point when I wasn't quite done unpacking the boxes in the dining room, but the downstairs has never been a pigsty, you know? (Now, our bedroom upstairs is another story, another project, but the place where everything that doesn't have a place gets dumped..) These friends quickly recover their surprise to reassure that they are not commenting on a previously perceived lack of housekeeping skills, but that they are just surprised at how clean and de-cluttered it is with me doing it all by myself, and with two small children to boot.
Routines, ladies. I'm FLYing. :)
I've decided that I'm going to take their comments as compliments.
Not once, but TWICE, I've had friends from church come over to help who are astonished at how clean the house is. To be fair, they all visited at some point when I wasn't quite done unpacking the boxes in the dining room, but the downstairs has never been a pigsty, you know? (Now, our bedroom upstairs is another story, another project, but the place where everything that doesn't have a place gets dumped..) These friends quickly recover their surprise to reassure that they are not commenting on a previously perceived lack of housekeeping skills, but that they are just surprised at how clean and de-cluttered it is with me doing it all by myself, and with two small children to boot.
Routines, ladies. I'm FLYing. :)
I've decided that I'm going to take their comments as compliments.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Teaser, continued
Oi! It's been a week. A long, tiring one at that.
So, to recap our weekend, we made it to my bro-in-law's house, and there was my wonderful husband, just chilling and watching television. Goldilocks was pumped. I was nervous. Baby Bear was mostly indifferent so long as I was around.
And our visit was just...weird. Yes, there's a part of me that wanted to achieve martyr status by doing it all without the hubby around, and his presence detracted from that. And the other part of me just wanted to pass all of the responsibility over to him for the weekend and just pass out. Being at (and essentially taking over) someone else's house made it even more strange. There weren't cribs or anything, and MWW didn't help me unload the car when we got there. He decided that Goldilocks just wasn't going to nap, after leaving her in a twin bed for a little while. I was frustrated, but decided that rather than deal with a cranky toddler, I was going to take a nap myself. (I will never cease to be amazed at the difference naps can make for me. I was an emotional mess before I went to sleep. I was even steven when I woke up.)
We used our double stroller and took the kids on a walk around the neighborhood. After dinner, we put the kids to bed and played Monopoly with the bro and sis-in-law. That created a little bit of tension because I went bankrupt first (Dave Ramsey would not have approved) and gave all my stuff to his brother to whom I owed it, even though MWW had offered to trade me several time to settle my debts. My ulterior motive was that in letting my bro-in-law get all my stuff, the game would end sooner and I would be able to spend more time with MWW. He saw it as more of a spousal betrayal, like I wasn't playing on his team. Or something. Fun.
And to add icing to the cake, the guest bedroom is set up Lucy/Dezi style, with two twin beds. It was weird.
Sunday dissolved into oblivion, until finally it was time for us to leave to get back home since we had people coming over our house at a certain time. I took the Interstate back, for only the second time, and of course the car did fine, and of course the kids slept the whole way.
Our time with MWW was brief. And I cried before I left, though I tried not to.
I am not counting down the weeks. It would be too depressing.
So, to recap our weekend, we made it to my bro-in-law's house, and there was my wonderful husband, just chilling and watching television. Goldilocks was pumped. I was nervous. Baby Bear was mostly indifferent so long as I was around.
And our visit was just...weird. Yes, there's a part of me that wanted to achieve martyr status by doing it all without the hubby around, and his presence detracted from that. And the other part of me just wanted to pass all of the responsibility over to him for the weekend and just pass out. Being at (and essentially taking over) someone else's house made it even more strange. There weren't cribs or anything, and MWW didn't help me unload the car when we got there. He decided that Goldilocks just wasn't going to nap, after leaving her in a twin bed for a little while. I was frustrated, but decided that rather than deal with a cranky toddler, I was going to take a nap myself. (I will never cease to be amazed at the difference naps can make for me. I was an emotional mess before I went to sleep. I was even steven when I woke up.)
We used our double stroller and took the kids on a walk around the neighborhood. After dinner, we put the kids to bed and played Monopoly with the bro and sis-in-law. That created a little bit of tension because I went bankrupt first (Dave Ramsey would not have approved) and gave all my stuff to his brother to whom I owed it, even though MWW had offered to trade me several time to settle my debts. My ulterior motive was that in letting my bro-in-law get all my stuff, the game would end sooner and I would be able to spend more time with MWW. He saw it as more of a spousal betrayal, like I wasn't playing on his team. Or something. Fun.
And to add icing to the cake, the guest bedroom is set up Lucy/Dezi style, with two twin beds. It was weird.
Sunday dissolved into oblivion, until finally it was time for us to leave to get back home since we had people coming over our house at a certain time. I took the Interstate back, for only the second time, and of course the car did fine, and of course the kids slept the whole way.
Our time with MWW was brief. And I cried before I left, though I tried not to.
I am not counting down the weeks. It would be too depressing.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Teaser, Part I
This weekend was a terrible teaser. My weekend warrior got a pass for the long weekend to come as far as Birmingham. If it weren't for that suspiciously timed snow day that coincided with the National Championship Bowl Game, I too would be enjoying a long weekend. Alas, I'm back to work tomorrow. And if it weren't for the timing belt on the Subaru needing to be replaced, MWW would have been able to come all the way home, probably.
But it is what it is.
Saturday morning, early, pretending like it was a normal school day, I got the kids up and dressed and fed, and we got in the car to make the 2-hour trip to B'ham. We got out the door about 30 minutes later than I do most mornings, but I also had to pack the car with things that I don't ordinarily have to pack (pack n' plays, road snacks, weekend clothes, diapers & wipes beyond what was already in the diaper bag, hubby's clothes that he asked for, a box of goodies for him), so it took a little time. I also had to ensure that the cats had what they needed for two days. Oh, and I had to return a DVD to the Redbox before we left town, so of course the inventory was full for the machine where I rented it, so I had to go out of my way to another machine to give it back. Booo. 7:45. On the road.
I had to stop numerous times. Once I had to pull over to feed Baby Bear and change a diaper. Then I had to pull over to save Goldilocks from the tiny hair rubber band that she had squeezed over her hand and was cutting off the circulation (she pulled out her pigtails within five minutes of being on the road). I pulled over because darn the luck, the sun was shining right on Baby Bear, he really wasn't happy about it, and there wasn't a dang thing I could do about it from the driver's seat. And most fun of all, I pulled over because the "Check Engine" light flashed at me and the car suddenly started doing weird things.
This last one almost had me in tears. Already we had been on the road two hours--you know, the time it ordinarily takes to get from here to B'ham. And we were still 40 miles away. The car was making a tick-tick-tick sound and I knew immediatly that it needed oil. So, to be safe, I went into a gas station and bought two quarts. Turned out I needed three. Yikes. When I went back in to buy the third quart, the old man cashier asked, "It really didn't have any oil in it, did it?" Nope. Another guy pulled up in a Jeep and parked next to me. When he got out, he asked all sorts of "Is everything okay?" sorts of questions. I told him that I just needed to put more oil in the car and then we should be okay. He looked relieved and then confided that he really didn't know anything about cars but wanted to offer the masculine-style moral support so that I wouldn't feel alone. Ooookay. We got back on the road.
And about 10 minutes later I looked down at the dashboard and my brights were on. Had I accidentally turned them on? I got behind a car with a reflective bumper. The Saturn has running lights, so I flipped the switch to turn on my headlights to make sure I wasn't losing my mind, but the headlights didn't come on. Nope. The brights were on and they wouldn't turn off. This same electrical problem happened on the way to Orlando in November and there was a subsequent fire under the hood (honestly, the car has almost 200,000 miles on it). I did the only thing I could: I prayed. When I looked back at the dash, the high-beams had turned off and all was well. I didn't have any further problems out of the car this weekend.
Onward to B'ham, to see MWW!
(To be continued...it's 1o p.m.--already past my bedtime--and I'm spent. Goodnight)
But it is what it is.
Saturday morning, early, pretending like it was a normal school day, I got the kids up and dressed and fed, and we got in the car to make the 2-hour trip to B'ham. We got out the door about 30 minutes later than I do most mornings, but I also had to pack the car with things that I don't ordinarily have to pack (pack n' plays, road snacks, weekend clothes, diapers & wipes beyond what was already in the diaper bag, hubby's clothes that he asked for, a box of goodies for him), so it took a little time. I also had to ensure that the cats had what they needed for two days. Oh, and I had to return a DVD to the Redbox before we left town, so of course the inventory was full for the machine where I rented it, so I had to go out of my way to another machine to give it back. Booo. 7:45. On the road.
I had to stop numerous times. Once I had to pull over to feed Baby Bear and change a diaper. Then I had to pull over to save Goldilocks from the tiny hair rubber band that she had squeezed over her hand and was cutting off the circulation (she pulled out her pigtails within five minutes of being on the road). I pulled over because darn the luck, the sun was shining right on Baby Bear, he really wasn't happy about it, and there wasn't a dang thing I could do about it from the driver's seat. And most fun of all, I pulled over because the "Check Engine" light flashed at me and the car suddenly started doing weird things.
This last one almost had me in tears. Already we had been on the road two hours--you know, the time it ordinarily takes to get from here to B'ham. And we were still 40 miles away. The car was making a tick-tick-tick sound and I knew immediatly that it needed oil. So, to be safe, I went into a gas station and bought two quarts. Turned out I needed three. Yikes. When I went back in to buy the third quart, the old man cashier asked, "It really didn't have any oil in it, did it?" Nope. Another guy pulled up in a Jeep and parked next to me. When he got out, he asked all sorts of "Is everything okay?" sorts of questions. I told him that I just needed to put more oil in the car and then we should be okay. He looked relieved and then confided that he really didn't know anything about cars but wanted to offer the masculine-style moral support so that I wouldn't feel alone. Ooookay. We got back on the road.
And about 10 minutes later I looked down at the dashboard and my brights were on. Had I accidentally turned them on? I got behind a car with a reflective bumper. The Saturn has running lights, so I flipped the switch to turn on my headlights to make sure I wasn't losing my mind, but the headlights didn't come on. Nope. The brights were on and they wouldn't turn off. This same electrical problem happened on the way to Orlando in November and there was a subsequent fire under the hood (honestly, the car has almost 200,000 miles on it). I did the only thing I could: I prayed. When I looked back at the dash, the high-beams had turned off and all was well. I didn't have any further problems out of the car this weekend.
Onward to B'ham, to see MWW!
(To be continued...it's 1o p.m.--already past my bedtime--and I'm spent. Goodnight)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Before Bed Routine
I was talking to my mom last night and I mentioned that this week we've done pretty well getting everybody out of the house before seven in the morning (well, except this morning, but it's Friday, you know?) even on days when I woke up at six. She was amazed that I could wake up that late and still make it out the door on time and I said, "Mom, it's the before bed routines."
That's right. I have a list of things that I do before bed every night so that should the morning start off late, for one reason or another, it won't be hectic. This routine is written on my bathroom mirror in window crayon so that when I'm brushing my teeth at night, I can double check my list and make sure I'm ready for morning. I do most of this after the kids are in bed (7 o'clock bedtime).
And here it is, my before bed routine, tweaked from the Fly Lady's to fit my life:
Downstairs:
1. Pack Baby Bear's lunch.
2. Shine sink, which includes doing dishes.
3. 5-minute room rescue, usually the living room, putting up Goldilocks' toys.
4. Put out a "hot spot" – 2 minutes, usually the kitchen counter and the breakfast table
5. Put items on my "Launch Pad" for morning/load the car.
6. Put phone on charger, if needed.
7. Find my keys.
8. Check my calendar for tomorrow's events. Also, look at my perpetual calendar (Power of a Praying Parent) and pray for my kiddos.
Upstairs:
9. Lay out clothes for tomorrow.
10. Brush teeth/wash face/take meds.
11. Go to bed at a decent hour (9 o'clock is the goal!). I deserve my rest.
Yeah, so that's it. Seems like a lot, but I started small, with just shining my sink every night, and I've added things little by little, and I can't tell you how peaceful my life feels when I can start the morning without being frazzled. I am especially grateful when I have two cranky children in the mornings, or when Baby Bear wakes up for the day earlier than I anticipated (before six!) which throws my morning routine off a little bit.
One thing I have been doing is picking out the kids clothes for the week ahead. One night during the week I run a load of kids' laundry. Then, on Saturday, I pick out clothes for the next week, including socks (man, I hate finding socks that match, especially at the last minute). My sister suggested that I use a shoe organizer to store the clothes "tacos", and I thought that was a splendid idea, so I went to Target and found a 10-pair shoe organizer that sits on the ground has fabric bins. Five bins for each child, for five days of the week. I have noticed that Sundays are a little hectic if I haven't picked out clothes for the little ones, so I think I'm going to get better about that now, too.
Anyway, that's how I make it out the door with two little kids before seven, even if I wake up at six.
Hope this helps someone. Credit to the Fly Lady and all her common sense.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Keeping Routines
We've been humming along for over a week now because of routines, thanks to the Fly Lady. I actually found the Fly Lady back in October and have been working to get to the point I am now. It's totally cheesy, but it's making a difference in my life. I'm going to post about it soon to share the love, but that will come later.
Today, I just want to share with you that part of our success has been because I wrote my routines on the bathroom mirror with Crayola Window Crayons. My morning routine is on one side, my before bed routine is on the other. Once I did that, I was inspired, so I got some Crayola Bathtub Crayons, and I wrote my prayer list on the wall in our shower stall. So now, as I'm brushing my teeth in the mornings and evenings, I can look at my routines and make sure I haven't missed anything. And when I shower in the mornings, I pray through my list, naming my family members by name, which is one thing I am trying to do daily this year. I don't get out of the shower until I'm done.
So, that's one little secret to my success so far. Just wanted to share. :)
Today, I just want to share with you that part of our success has been because I wrote my routines on the bathroom mirror with Crayola Window Crayons. My morning routine is on one side, my before bed routine is on the other. Once I did that, I was inspired, so I got some Crayola Bathtub Crayons, and I wrote my prayer list on the wall in our shower stall. So now, as I'm brushing my teeth in the mornings and evenings, I can look at my routines and make sure I haven't missed anything. And when I shower in the mornings, I pray through my list, naming my family members by name, which is one thing I am trying to do daily this year. I don't get out of the shower until I'm done.
So, that's one little secret to my success so far. Just wanted to share. :)
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