AT

MWW leaves tonight for Annual Training (AT). This is the the "two weeks a year" part of the weekend warrior description [one weekend a month, two weeks a year]. This should be no sweat since we survived his Advanced Individual Training (AIT) for five months this spring, but there will be challenges.

In February, I was in the middle of a school year. Now, I've been in school for one week, so the stress levels are much higher as I put in the extra effort to start the year off right.

And now I have two toddlers. Today is Baby Bear's first birthday--he's been walking for about four weeks now. Goldilocks is two as of May and is a stereotypical two, so that makes everything interesting, and by interesting I mean crazy and dramatic.

We're still trying to get back into our routine since the summer was not as high structure. That makes the absence of the other parent that much more of a challenge, because I have to be more organized.

I'll get it together. It just stinks that AT is in August. But, such is life.

Two weeks. We can do this.

Back in the Weekend Warrior Mode

We're glad to have MWW back at home, and we're ironing out the wrinkles in our routine. He's been busy getting back into the swing of things at his civilian job, working through a backlog of cases and sorting out the mess that the interim attorney left for him. Things will be much better next month as I go back to work and we have an actual routine again, not this make-it-up-as-I-go staying home with the kids thing (I'm a teacher, so summers are just awkward anyway). And it will be better because MWW will have a grip on things at work again and be less stressed. Maybe.

This last weekend was the first drill weekend since MWW came back from training last month, and of course it was a 3-day drill. Honestly, it was much easier to do the three day thing now that I've done the 5-month thing. What I am not really looking forward to is his TWO WEEKS A YEAR part of being in the National Guard, because those two weeks coincide with my first two weeks back at school with students, and probably one of those nights will be Open House, so I'll have to figure something out.

I do thank the Lord that he will not be gone the first week of August, which is when I go back for teacher inservice. Those are the nights that I will want to stay a little longer trying to get stuff done.

So, actually, we won't be able to find a new normal until September. Okay. That's reasonable. I'll have a 1-year-old by then. He'll be walking (nay, running) up a storm, I'm sure, while the 2-year-old continues to become more and more spirited. Haha. And I'll be back at work, so it will be easier to find balance.

Guelph Therapy

I'm writing this post from Guelph, Ontario.

Strange name, mundane place. But, it's a perfect place for the family to spend time together post-training. Yes, the time flew by in the end, and MWW is back home with us. Or, rather, in Canada with us. Wherever. :) We are here to work out the kinks before taking the circus on the road back to Alabama. Get to know one another, work out the kinks.

I think the hardest part now is holding my tongue and/or thinking before I speak (and then speaking in love, convincingly). I have a tendency to come across as defensive or sarcastic, or both sometimes. And so, when something is said that sets off alarm bells in my head, and the walls of self-protection spring into place in my mind and heart, I have to remember: He hasn't been here. He didn't mean it the way I heard it. He doesn't know.

And then I have to talk myself down from that ledge. On my family blog, I recently wrote a post on bitterness, mostly about my recovery from a job situation from three years ago now. Sometimes when I have the above-described reaction, I have to search and see if that taste is in my mouth. Am I bitter that he gets wound up about a screaming child at bedtime, knowing full well that he just had five months of mostly uninterrupted sleep at night? Yes, sometimes the taste is there (have I mentioned that the 10-month-old doesn't sleep for stretches longer than 3 hours still?), and sometimes it's not. Depends on the day, depends on the interaction, depends on whether or not I got a nap. Haha.

The good news is that we're both still growing. We are not static individuals. We just need to remember and practice how to communicate with each other again without making assumptions. I was reminded of this during the sermon at my cousin's wedding this past weekend as the pastor explicated the "Love" verses from Corinthians. She mentioned that love assumes nothing, but rather makes sure to clearly communicate and have all necessary information. Oh, yeah. That. I'm working on it. It will get better.

Adjusting

It's been one month since I last posted over here. We had MWW at home for a couple of days before he had to report to Fort Benning, and it was wonderful and stressful both. He was sweet and supportive most of the time, but sometimes it felt like he forgot that he hadn't been here for four months and would say or do something that was insensitive. It wasn't on purpose, mind you, but it was stressful because I had to remember not to take it personally. However, the good definitely outweighs the not-so-good of having him home.

Since Mother's Day, he's been coming home on weekends and a lot of the time it feels like we're slightly out of sync (though that may just be that we're on Central time and he's on Eastern, even when he's here with us). But we're adjusting.

I wonder if they'll do any reintegration training before they leave Fort Benning before Father's Day weekend? And if they do, will he pay attention? Or will he think that it doesn't pertain to him since he's been coming home on weekends? I hope he at least doesn't tune them out.

Two more weeks until we have him with us for the long haul, you know, except for that whole one weekend a month, two weeks a year thing. This time has really flown by. If I didn't work full-time and have two little ones to keep up with and a slew of good friends to check up on me, I would be out of my mind. I thank the Lord for the people he has put in my life to make this time apart more bearable.

Until next time.

Graduation Day

I can't believe he's graduating already! I'm soooo glad that it's all almost over, but mostly I'm proud of him. MWW made the Commandant's List, which is essentially like graduating cum laude. Wowzers!

They left after the ceremony this afternoon, as all the Alabama JAGs are caravaning back into the state. He sent me a text message after school sometime letting me know that they were in Greeneville, TN. He might make the it the whole way tonight, but he might also stop to sleep so that he can get here in one piece. I just can't wait to see him, even if it's only for a couple of days. :)

Oh, the irony..

This is the week.

Yes, this is the week when MWW graduates from JAG School. I won't be able to go to graduation, which makes me sad because I've never seen him in his dress uniform. Hubby will be coming back home for a couple of days before being stationed at Fort Benning, which is 45 miles from here. "At least he'll be close," people say. I was comforted by that, until this week, and now I'm just annoyed.

MWW found out that he won't be able to have his phone with him at this BOLC phase. The options are to leave it in the hot car, or leave it here when he goes. He's opting for leaving it here, so far as I know.

The whole situation is maddening. When he was 600 miles away, I could at least talk to him every night. Now he'll be really, really close, and I won't get to talk to him until he comes home on the weekends. And I won't know when/if he's coming home until he shows up on our doorstep. Sigh. I just can't win. Well, except that I'll get to see him on some weekends. :D It won't be enough, but it will be something!

What's another six weeks? We've made it this far. We are blessed by the support and prayers of our family and friends. This will carry us on toward our reunion in mid-June!

The new car smell..

...of this whole situation is wearing off. There's no more novelty. There's no more driven independence.

It's getting pretty old and I'm tired of single-parenting and being a solitary homeowner. We have had lots of glorious help from friends and family, and that has made it so much easier. But it's still not the same.

And yes, I'm complaining. I've put on a good face heretofore, but I'm exhausted. And I'm ready for my weekend warrior to be back with us.

All the single parents and military families with loved ones deployed, whether in war zones or not, can feel free to tell me to shut my trap. I know. He's safe. It's for a limited time. If I really wanted to, I could go see him. The logistics would be a nightmare, but I could do it.

Everyone else bear with me as I complain.