Oi! It's been a week. A long, tiring one at that.
So, to recap our weekend, we made it to my bro-in-law's house, and there was my wonderful husband, just chilling and watching television. Goldilocks was pumped. I was nervous. Baby Bear was mostly indifferent so long as I was around.
And our visit was just...weird. Yes, there's a part of me that wanted to achieve martyr status by doing it all without the hubby around, and his presence detracted from that. And the other part of me just wanted to pass all of the responsibility over to him for the weekend and just pass out. Being at (and essentially taking over) someone else's house made it even more strange. There weren't cribs or anything, and MWW didn't help me unload the car when we got there. He decided that Goldilocks just wasn't going to nap, after leaving her in a twin bed for a little while. I was frustrated, but decided that rather than deal with a cranky toddler, I was going to take a nap myself. (I will never cease to be amazed at the difference naps can make for me. I was an emotional mess before I went to sleep. I was even steven when I woke up.)
We used our double stroller and took the kids on a walk around the neighborhood. After dinner, we put the kids to bed and played Monopoly with the bro and sis-in-law. That created a little bit of tension because I went bankrupt first (Dave Ramsey would not have approved) and gave all my stuff to his brother to whom I owed it, even though MWW had offered to trade me several time to settle my debts. My ulterior motive was that in letting my bro-in-law get all my stuff, the game would end sooner and I would be able to spend more time with MWW. He saw it as more of a spousal betrayal, like I wasn't playing on his team. Or something. Fun.
And to add icing to the cake, the guest bedroom is set up Lucy/Dezi style, with two twin beds. It was weird.
Sunday dissolved into oblivion, until finally it was time for us to leave to get back home since we had people coming over our house at a certain time. I took the Interstate back, for only the second time, and of course the car did fine, and of course the kids slept the whole way.
Our time with MWW was brief. And I cried before I left, though I tried not to.
I am not counting down the weeks. It would be too depressing.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Teaser, Part I
This weekend was a terrible teaser. My weekend warrior got a pass for the long weekend to come as far as Birmingham. If it weren't for that suspiciously timed snow day that coincided with the National Championship Bowl Game, I too would be enjoying a long weekend. Alas, I'm back to work tomorrow. And if it weren't for the timing belt on the Subaru needing to be replaced, MWW would have been able to come all the way home, probably.
But it is what it is.
Saturday morning, early, pretending like it was a normal school day, I got the kids up and dressed and fed, and we got in the car to make the 2-hour trip to B'ham. We got out the door about 30 minutes later than I do most mornings, but I also had to pack the car with things that I don't ordinarily have to pack (pack n' plays, road snacks, weekend clothes, diapers & wipes beyond what was already in the diaper bag, hubby's clothes that he asked for, a box of goodies for him), so it took a little time. I also had to ensure that the cats had what they needed for two days. Oh, and I had to return a DVD to the Redbox before we left town, so of course the inventory was full for the machine where I rented it, so I had to go out of my way to another machine to give it back. Booo. 7:45. On the road.
I had to stop numerous times. Once I had to pull over to feed Baby Bear and change a diaper. Then I had to pull over to save Goldilocks from the tiny hair rubber band that she had squeezed over her hand and was cutting off the circulation (she pulled out her pigtails within five minutes of being on the road). I pulled over because darn the luck, the sun was shining right on Baby Bear, he really wasn't happy about it, and there wasn't a dang thing I could do about it from the driver's seat. And most fun of all, I pulled over because the "Check Engine" light flashed at me and the car suddenly started doing weird things.
This last one almost had me in tears. Already we had been on the road two hours--you know, the time it ordinarily takes to get from here to B'ham. And we were still 40 miles away. The car was making a tick-tick-tick sound and I knew immediatly that it needed oil. So, to be safe, I went into a gas station and bought two quarts. Turned out I needed three. Yikes. When I went back in to buy the third quart, the old man cashier asked, "It really didn't have any oil in it, did it?" Nope. Another guy pulled up in a Jeep and parked next to me. When he got out, he asked all sorts of "Is everything okay?" sorts of questions. I told him that I just needed to put more oil in the car and then we should be okay. He looked relieved and then confided that he really didn't know anything about cars but wanted to offer the masculine-style moral support so that I wouldn't feel alone. Ooookay. We got back on the road.
And about 10 minutes later I looked down at the dashboard and my brights were on. Had I accidentally turned them on? I got behind a car with a reflective bumper. The Saturn has running lights, so I flipped the switch to turn on my headlights to make sure I wasn't losing my mind, but the headlights didn't come on. Nope. The brights were on and they wouldn't turn off. This same electrical problem happened on the way to Orlando in November and there was a subsequent fire under the hood (honestly, the car has almost 200,000 miles on it). I did the only thing I could: I prayed. When I looked back at the dash, the high-beams had turned off and all was well. I didn't have any further problems out of the car this weekend.
Onward to B'ham, to see MWW!
(To be continued...it's 1o p.m.--already past my bedtime--and I'm spent. Goodnight)
But it is what it is.
Saturday morning, early, pretending like it was a normal school day, I got the kids up and dressed and fed, and we got in the car to make the 2-hour trip to B'ham. We got out the door about 30 minutes later than I do most mornings, but I also had to pack the car with things that I don't ordinarily have to pack (pack n' plays, road snacks, weekend clothes, diapers & wipes beyond what was already in the diaper bag, hubby's clothes that he asked for, a box of goodies for him), so it took a little time. I also had to ensure that the cats had what they needed for two days. Oh, and I had to return a DVD to the Redbox before we left town, so of course the inventory was full for the machine where I rented it, so I had to go out of my way to another machine to give it back. Booo. 7:45. On the road.
I had to stop numerous times. Once I had to pull over to feed Baby Bear and change a diaper. Then I had to pull over to save Goldilocks from the tiny hair rubber band that she had squeezed over her hand and was cutting off the circulation (she pulled out her pigtails within five minutes of being on the road). I pulled over because darn the luck, the sun was shining right on Baby Bear, he really wasn't happy about it, and there wasn't a dang thing I could do about it from the driver's seat. And most fun of all, I pulled over because the "Check Engine" light flashed at me and the car suddenly started doing weird things.
This last one almost had me in tears. Already we had been on the road two hours--you know, the time it ordinarily takes to get from here to B'ham. And we were still 40 miles away. The car was making a tick-tick-tick sound and I knew immediatly that it needed oil. So, to be safe, I went into a gas station and bought two quarts. Turned out I needed three. Yikes. When I went back in to buy the third quart, the old man cashier asked, "It really didn't have any oil in it, did it?" Nope. Another guy pulled up in a Jeep and parked next to me. When he got out, he asked all sorts of "Is everything okay?" sorts of questions. I told him that I just needed to put more oil in the car and then we should be okay. He looked relieved and then confided that he really didn't know anything about cars but wanted to offer the masculine-style moral support so that I wouldn't feel alone. Ooookay. We got back on the road.
And about 10 minutes later I looked down at the dashboard and my brights were on. Had I accidentally turned them on? I got behind a car with a reflective bumper. The Saturn has running lights, so I flipped the switch to turn on my headlights to make sure I wasn't losing my mind, but the headlights didn't come on. Nope. The brights were on and they wouldn't turn off. This same electrical problem happened on the way to Orlando in November and there was a subsequent fire under the hood (honestly, the car has almost 200,000 miles on it). I did the only thing I could: I prayed. When I looked back at the dash, the high-beams had turned off and all was well. I didn't have any further problems out of the car this weekend.
Onward to B'ham, to see MWW!
(To be continued...it's 1o p.m.--already past my bedtime--and I'm spent. Goodnight)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Before Bed Routine
I was talking to my mom last night and I mentioned that this week we've done pretty well getting everybody out of the house before seven in the morning (well, except this morning, but it's Friday, you know?) even on days when I woke up at six. She was amazed that I could wake up that late and still make it out the door on time and I said, "Mom, it's the before bed routines."
That's right. I have a list of things that I do before bed every night so that should the morning start off late, for one reason or another, it won't be hectic. This routine is written on my bathroom mirror in window crayon so that when I'm brushing my teeth at night, I can double check my list and make sure I'm ready for morning. I do most of this after the kids are in bed (7 o'clock bedtime).
And here it is, my before bed routine, tweaked from the Fly Lady's to fit my life:
Downstairs:
1. Pack Baby Bear's lunch.
2. Shine sink, which includes doing dishes.
3. 5-minute room rescue, usually the living room, putting up Goldilocks' toys.
4. Put out a "hot spot" – 2 minutes, usually the kitchen counter and the breakfast table
5. Put items on my "Launch Pad" for morning/load the car.
6. Put phone on charger, if needed.
7. Find my keys.
8. Check my calendar for tomorrow's events. Also, look at my perpetual calendar (Power of a Praying Parent) and pray for my kiddos.
Upstairs:
9. Lay out clothes for tomorrow.
10. Brush teeth/wash face/take meds.
11. Go to bed at a decent hour (9 o'clock is the goal!). I deserve my rest.
Yeah, so that's it. Seems like a lot, but I started small, with just shining my sink every night, and I've added things little by little, and I can't tell you how peaceful my life feels when I can start the morning without being frazzled. I am especially grateful when I have two cranky children in the mornings, or when Baby Bear wakes up for the day earlier than I anticipated (before six!) which throws my morning routine off a little bit.
One thing I have been doing is picking out the kids clothes for the week ahead. One night during the week I run a load of kids' laundry. Then, on Saturday, I pick out clothes for the next week, including socks (man, I hate finding socks that match, especially at the last minute). My sister suggested that I use a shoe organizer to store the clothes "tacos", and I thought that was a splendid idea, so I went to Target and found a 10-pair shoe organizer that sits on the ground has fabric bins. Five bins for each child, for five days of the week. I have noticed that Sundays are a little hectic if I haven't picked out clothes for the little ones, so I think I'm going to get better about that now, too.
Anyway, that's how I make it out the door with two little kids before seven, even if I wake up at six.
Hope this helps someone. Credit to the Fly Lady and all her common sense.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Keeping Routines
We've been humming along for over a week now because of routines, thanks to the Fly Lady. I actually found the Fly Lady back in October and have been working to get to the point I am now. It's totally cheesy, but it's making a difference in my life. I'm going to post about it soon to share the love, but that will come later.
Today, I just want to share with you that part of our success has been because I wrote my routines on the bathroom mirror with Crayola Window Crayons. My morning routine is on one side, my before bed routine is on the other. Once I did that, I was inspired, so I got some Crayola Bathtub Crayons, and I wrote my prayer list on the wall in our shower stall. So now, as I'm brushing my teeth in the mornings and evenings, I can look at my routines and make sure I haven't missed anything. And when I shower in the mornings, I pray through my list, naming my family members by name, which is one thing I am trying to do daily this year. I don't get out of the shower until I'm done.
So, that's one little secret to my success so far. Just wanted to share. :)
Today, I just want to share with you that part of our success has been because I wrote my routines on the bathroom mirror with Crayola Window Crayons. My morning routine is on one side, my before bed routine is on the other. Once I did that, I was inspired, so I got some Crayola Bathtub Crayons, and I wrote my prayer list on the wall in our shower stall. So now, as I'm brushing my teeth in the mornings and evenings, I can look at my routines and make sure I haven't missed anything. And when I shower in the mornings, I pray through my list, naming my family members by name, which is one thing I am trying to do daily this year. I don't get out of the shower until I'm done.
So, that's one little secret to my success so far. Just wanted to share. :)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Small Victories
One week down, however many to go. I'm not gonna' count right now because it might just be depressing. So, for now, I'm going to take it one week at a time, and I'm going to claim small victories where I can:
1. I got both kids up, dressed, and was NOT late to work this week. In fact, on two days I was much earlier than I have been in a long time.
2. I got out of the house before 7 o'clock on 4 out of the five days. On the fifth day, Friday, I was out of the house at 7:04. Not too shabby.
3. I didn't cry. I'm not making any guarantees about the week ahead, though.
I was probably working on short-term adrenaline this past week. I have been apart from MWW before, for as long as a week, so this part of our separation wasn't really a challenge (you know, except for the two small children thing). In fact, I think if someone examined our "couple dynamics" from the pre-children six years of our marraige, he/she would find that we were able to be very independent of each other when needed, but definitely worked better together. Some couples have never spent a night apart from each other; while it was not so very common for us, it also wasn't a rarity. When I took a Marriage and the Family class in college, I remember them talking about "A-frame" and "H-frame" couples--we are the latter. (The A is an image of two people leaning on each other so that if one were to leave, the other would fall over, holding on to each other, but for survival. The H is an image of two people standing on their own and holding on to each other, still independent, but intertwined.)
One thing that was weird this week was telephone conversations. Nothing much happened here. A couple of cute Goldilocks stories, sure, but really, we were just going through the grind. MWW was busy with Army-related stuff. Every time we talked we were both exhausted and the dialogue seemed stilted. It's frustrating that I don't know any of the people in his stories (I'm a visual person--I want to visualize faces..), and predictable that most of the military side of this adventure is not very interesting to me. The lawyering side of it is, and stories about how the (desk-job) lawyers are dealing with the military (crawling through the mud) side of things are definitely entertaining.
I hope that once the indoctrination phase is over and the JAG school phase starts, that maybe things will be less awkward? We'll see..
1. I got both kids up, dressed, and was NOT late to work this week. In fact, on two days I was much earlier than I have been in a long time.
2. I got out of the house before 7 o'clock on 4 out of the five days. On the fifth day, Friday, I was out of the house at 7:04. Not too shabby.
3. I didn't cry. I'm not making any guarantees about the week ahead, though.
I was probably working on short-term adrenaline this past week. I have been apart from MWW before, for as long as a week, so this part of our separation wasn't really a challenge (you know, except for the two small children thing). In fact, I think if someone examined our "couple dynamics" from the pre-children six years of our marraige, he/she would find that we were able to be very independent of each other when needed, but definitely worked better together. Some couples have never spent a night apart from each other; while it was not so very common for us, it also wasn't a rarity. When I took a Marriage and the Family class in college, I remember them talking about "A-frame" and "H-frame" couples--we are the latter. (The A is an image of two people leaning on each other so that if one were to leave, the other would fall over, holding on to each other, but for survival. The H is an image of two people standing on their own and holding on to each other, still independent, but intertwined.)
One thing that was weird this week was telephone conversations. Nothing much happened here. A couple of cute Goldilocks stories, sure, but really, we were just going through the grind. MWW was busy with Army-related stuff. Every time we talked we were both exhausted and the dialogue seemed stilted. It's frustrating that I don't know any of the people in his stories (I'm a visual person--I want to visualize faces..), and predictable that most of the military side of this adventure is not very interesting to me. The lawyering side of it is, and stories about how the (desk-job) lawyers are dealing with the military (crawling through the mud) side of things are definitely entertaining.
I hope that once the indoctrination phase is over and the JAG school phase starts, that maybe things will be less awkward? We'll see..
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Starting off with a dang
No, I'm not dyslexic. The title of this post is correct.
After much build-up, MWW left on Saturday to head to VA. And about 2.5 hours after he left, as the kids were bundled up and ready to get into the car to go to a Valentine's party at a friend's house to distract us from what just happened [i.e. daddy leaving for the next four months], I realized that I didn't know where my keys were. And then I realized that they were probably in the car that was already halfway to its destination.
So, I cried.
And then I called my husband to confirm this truth, but I was crying still, so it was difficult to make a plan. Eventually, I told him that we would make do, and that he could just send the keys so that I would get them at school on Monday. No prob. But what to do about the party, and church on Sunday?
The Lord is faithful.
I didn't have the number of the girl hosting the party, so I called a friend who I knew would be there. My intent was to tell her to relay the message that we wouldn't be there. But, it turns out that her toddler was sick and she was going anyway to deliver valentines, so she could come pick us all up and Goldilocks could sit in her boy's carseat, and I could strap Baby Bear's carrier in also. Wonderful!
And when I told our neighbors two doors down about our predicament, they offered to lend me their extra car, the one they are trying to sell for their parents. So we were loved on and taken care of by friends.
The Lord if faithful.
It was not the best way to start our long separation, but it at least makes for a good story later, since I can laugh about it and be in awe of His providence, now. :)
After much build-up, MWW left on Saturday to head to VA. And about 2.5 hours after he left, as the kids were bundled up and ready to get into the car to go to a Valentine's party at a friend's house to distract us from what just happened [i.e. daddy leaving for the next four months], I realized that I didn't know where my keys were. And then I realized that they were probably in the car that was already halfway to its destination.
So, I cried.
And then I called my husband to confirm this truth, but I was crying still, so it was difficult to make a plan. Eventually, I told him that we would make do, and that he could just send the keys so that I would get them at school on Monday. No prob. But what to do about the party, and church on Sunday?
The Lord is faithful.
I didn't have the number of the girl hosting the party, so I called a friend who I knew would be there. My intent was to tell her to relay the message that we wouldn't be there. But, it turns out that her toddler was sick and she was going anyway to deliver valentines, so she could come pick us all up and Goldilocks could sit in her boy's carseat, and I could strap Baby Bear's carrier in also. Wonderful!
And when I told our neighbors two doors down about our predicament, they offered to lend me their extra car, the one they are trying to sell for their parents. So we were loved on and taken care of by friends.
The Lord if faithful.
It was not the best way to start our long separation, but it at least makes for a good story later, since I can laugh about it and be in awe of His providence, now. :)
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