Guelph Therapy

I'm writing this post from Guelph, Ontario.

Strange name, mundane place. But, it's a perfect place for the family to spend time together post-training. Yes, the time flew by in the end, and MWW is back home with us. Or, rather, in Canada with us. Wherever. :) We are here to work out the kinks before taking the circus on the road back to Alabama. Get to know one another, work out the kinks.

I think the hardest part now is holding my tongue and/or thinking before I speak (and then speaking in love, convincingly). I have a tendency to come across as defensive or sarcastic, or both sometimes. And so, when something is said that sets off alarm bells in my head, and the walls of self-protection spring into place in my mind and heart, I have to remember: He hasn't been here. He didn't mean it the way I heard it. He doesn't know.

And then I have to talk myself down from that ledge. On my family blog, I recently wrote a post on bitterness, mostly about my recovery from a job situation from three years ago now. Sometimes when I have the above-described reaction, I have to search and see if that taste is in my mouth. Am I bitter that he gets wound up about a screaming child at bedtime, knowing full well that he just had five months of mostly uninterrupted sleep at night? Yes, sometimes the taste is there (have I mentioned that the 10-month-old doesn't sleep for stretches longer than 3 hours still?), and sometimes it's not. Depends on the day, depends on the interaction, depends on whether or not I got a nap. Haha.

The good news is that we're both still growing. We are not static individuals. We just need to remember and practice how to communicate with each other again without making assumptions. I was reminded of this during the sermon at my cousin's wedding this past weekend as the pastor explicated the "Love" verses from Corinthians. She mentioned that love assumes nothing, but rather makes sure to clearly communicate and have all necessary information. Oh, yeah. That. I'm working on it. It will get better.

Adjusting

It's been one month since I last posted over here. We had MWW at home for a couple of days before he had to report to Fort Benning, and it was wonderful and stressful both. He was sweet and supportive most of the time, but sometimes it felt like he forgot that he hadn't been here for four months and would say or do something that was insensitive. It wasn't on purpose, mind you, but it was stressful because I had to remember not to take it personally. However, the good definitely outweighs the not-so-good of having him home.

Since Mother's Day, he's been coming home on weekends and a lot of the time it feels like we're slightly out of sync (though that may just be that we're on Central time and he's on Eastern, even when he's here with us). But we're adjusting.

I wonder if they'll do any reintegration training before they leave Fort Benning before Father's Day weekend? And if they do, will he pay attention? Or will he think that it doesn't pertain to him since he's been coming home on weekends? I hope he at least doesn't tune them out.

Two more weeks until we have him with us for the long haul, you know, except for that whole one weekend a month, two weeks a year thing. This time has really flown by. If I didn't work full-time and have two little ones to keep up with and a slew of good friends to check up on me, I would be out of my mind. I thank the Lord for the people he has put in my life to make this time apart more bearable.

Until next time.